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The Political and Religious Views of a Not Quite Normal Citizen of the Greatest Country in the World

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Voting Decisions

The other day we were having a family discussion on voting, which I've written about before, and my 7 year old daughter asked me if there was ever a time it that I wouldn't vote. I explained to her that no, I would always vote. Not only is it my right, but it's my obligation as a citizen. Sitting home and letting any voting day go by without going to my polling place just doesn't make sense to me.

Then she asked what if I didn't have anyone I wanted to vote for? You see, I've already explained to her that I need to find the candidate that's most closely aligned with my world view. I don't care what the letter is after their name, if they align with me then that's who I'm voting for. That being said, I've already told her that I'm not voting for either of the two presumptive nominees for the Big Two, since I don't think either of them will do a good job.*

So, to answer the question, if I don't find anyone who I feel that I can vote for in a given position, then I'll write in my own name. At least then I know that I've cast a vote for someone that I can agree with. The conversation then got into the mechanics of the voting booth, so I won't bore you with that, but I'm very happy that a girl of 7 is asking about this stuff.

* And don't give me any of that "throwing your vote away" crap. People blindly voting for a party rather than a person is what's got us into this mess. At least I'll be able to sleep at night.

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

The Unified Theory of Santa Claus

I figured that I'd write up something that I told my daughter this past holiday season. You never know, this might just be useful to some of you parents out there. It concerns Santa and how he operates. I freely admit that some of this is stolen borrowed for the great comic series Fables, mainly how Santa makes it to each house.

Here's how it goes:

Santa is magical and doesn't need to stop at each individual house one after the other. He actually creates duplicates of himself and they are what travels to each house. Each house has it's own Santa, and that one is customized for the household.

So, if you have a house in the United States, Santa is dressed in the familiar red with white trim (thank you Coca Cola). If the house in in the United Kingdom, then Santa looks like Father Christmas. Along these same lines, if the house has a white family, then the Santa is white. If it's a black family, then Santa is black, and so on.

No, the guys in the malls, town halls, museums, or where-ever you go to meet Santa aren't really him, but they are, in fact, his helpers. These men (and women, where Mrs. Claus is around) have a direct line to Santa and they tell him what each child said to them. So, while the child is not really talking to Santa, Santa will know what was said.

Even though he doesn't require a chimney to enter a house (remember, he's magic), Santa does need permission. This permission can come in several forms. The one our family uses is something called a "Santa Key" that we leave outside on the door knob. Santa uses this to enter the house and he then hangs it on the tree.

So, there you have it. My unified theory of Santa Claus that, I think, helps explain some of the "unexplainable" things about him. Feel free to adopt or adapt this for your own use, and please let me know how it works for you.